Bar/Bat Mitzvah

An integral aspect of Orr Shalom programs is working with troubled children to develop a positive sense of identity.  In Israel, the celebration of one’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah is often a highlight of a child’s youth and is considered as a rite of passage.

Each year, approximately 40 Orr Shalom children reach Bar/Bat Mitzva age, and are provided with a special ceremony and reception in honor of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  For most of our children, their Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Orr Shalom represents a major celebration of their own accomplishments their youth.  The children are able to bridge the gap between themselves and their local peers as the neighborhood joins in marking this life cycle event with the Orr Shalom family.

Over the years, our experience has shown the significance of this milestone to children in our care.  It is a chance for Orr Shalom children to feel special and to celebrate the process of growing up, connecting with both their normative peers and their Jewish heritage. This is also an opportunity for Orr Shalom children to discover their family roots and the positive aspects of their family traditions and history. Moreover, it is a crucial piece in their reconciliation process with their families.

Orr Shalom works with house parents to plan all logistics of each Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This includes coordinating tutors for each child to learn his/her Torah portion, purchasing tefillin, tallitot for the boys and Shabbat candlesticks and a siddur for the girls and new clothing for the children, arranging locations, food, and beverages for each ceremony and reception and providing transportation costs for biological families when it is appropriate for them to attend.

Dana
Dana has lived in an Eilat Therapeutic Family Group Home since August 2007. She and her siblings were removed from their home in 2000 when it became clear that her parents were dysfunctional and unable to meet the children's needs. At first, they were taken into the care of a foster-family in another city. With their return to Eilat, they were referred to one of our Orr Shalom homes. Dana’s parents are divorced and she rarely sees her father. She has siblings in other group-homes. Despite her difficult background, Dana is usually optimistic, and loves to take part in dance workshops. Since arriving in the home, she has begun to form connections with the staff and other children. She has learning difficulties, but has shown a desire to seek help from those around her. Next year she will celebrate her Bat Mitzvah, a topic she has begun to talk about frequently. She would like to invite her classmates to celebrate her special day and has begun to design her own invitation.

Beni’s Bar Mitzvah Story
Beni has been living in foster care with Orr Shalom for four-and–a-half years.  After being removed from a home atmosphere full of violence, criminal activity, and drug use, Beni was transferred from one institution to another until he was finally placed in an Orr Shalom Therapeutic Foster Home. Today, Beni is thriving in the seventh grade at a specialized school for children with behavioral difficulties.  He loves to ride horses and enjoys working with ceramics.  Beni celebrated his Bar Mitzvah in June 2007 with a special synagogue ceremony attended by his friends, foster family, grandmother, and two uncles.  He read his Torah portion with great success.  Additionally, Beni’s biological parents, foster family and close friends attended a second ceremony at the Western Wall followed by a reception in a nearby restaurant.  The Bar Mitzvah process made a tremendous impact on Beni in connecting him to his Jewish identity and in strengthening his self-confidence.
 

This program is generously supported by the Dorset Foundation.

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