All
of our children's names have been changed in order to protect their
anonymity.
Doron
Perach
Ami and Ari
Shoshana
Shmuel
Sara
Andre
Dana
Doron
as told by Celia, his housemother
"We have just accepted the 10th child to our Orr Shalom home. His name is Doron. I have been a housemother at Orr Shalom for 3 years, but I have never encountered such a story.
Doron came to our front door accompanied by a state social worker. I held out my hand to greet him and his reaction was to put up his two tiny hands in front of his face to defend himself. This quick movement reminded me of what I had read about him in the newspaper just two days before. The headlines read "worst case of child abuse in recent times comes to light... My mother's boyfriend forced my head into a toilet bowl and he made me run around the neighborhood with a placard on my back with big red writing which read 'liar'."
How can I reach out to this little boy of 10, who has endured so much. I caught myself before asking Doron if he wanted to put away his belongings, as I realized that he had no belongings. His only baggage are his horrible memories.
It is our tradition to bake a cake each time a new child comes to our home. I thought that this would be a marvelous welcome for Doron. But he did not react as others have and did not take it at all as a welcoming gesture. In a few days I began to understand why. Doron had been forced by this same boyfriend to eat only frozen food; this was his only diet. If he refused he was punished by having his head repeatedly held down in the toilet.
Often as I look into Doron's big brown sad eyes, I know that my decision to be a house mother for such innocent yet horribly abused young children has been the right thing for me and for my family.
Recently, we went together as a family (a large one at that, with our twin daughters and the other 9 Orr Shalom children) to attend Doron's first performance at our neighborhood dance company. My husband and all the children were smiling (and I had tears streaming down my cheeks) as we applauded Doron. I knew that we were truly saving another soul.
Help Us Help Doron
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Perach
Two years ago, a little girl named Perach, age 5, was accepted along with her three siblings into our new community home for modern orthodox children in Jerusalem's Ramot neighborhood. Perach's physical health was very poor: she had no teeth, a result of effects of the drugs her mother took during the pregnancy, her tear ducts were blocked, she could not hear because of blockages in her ears, and she was extremely small for her age due to lack of nutrition. Since no one was able to understand her speech, it was impossible to communicate with Perach.
Initially, Perach was evaluated as having borderline intelligence. But once her health improved and she could hear, she began to openly communicate with those around her. Since that time, Perach has been developing into a lovely little girl and her evaluation has been revised.
Today, Perach is in her second year of nursery school. She is a lively, chatty child who has responded excellently to the house parents and formed a special friendship with their own little girl, age four. Once Perach started to speak clearly, she blossomed into a little girl who is full of life and is just waiting for the chance to develop and escape her past.
Perach has discovered a love of ballet, and she belongs to a local class where she can be seen twirling and turning in her little bright maroon leotard, having the time of her life.
Unfortunately, Perach's mother has rejected her. She never visits and somehow always finds an excuse not to attend birthday parties or events that are important in Perach's life. Although Perach is still very small physically, she is managing with the love and attention she is receiving from Orr Shalom to grow and develop into a healthy child.
Help Us Help Perach
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Ami and Ari
A letter from Arye Schwartz, Principal Reut-Orr Shalom School
Reut-Orr Shalom Friendship House is a residential treatment center for severely emotionally disturbed children. The House consists of both living quarters and an educational wing. Our children require 24-hour, round-the-clock treatment and are too severely disturbed to attend special education schools outside the center's complex. Reut-Orr Shalom now treats 40 children, 36 of whom live in its residential quarters all year-round. Four children live with Orr Shalom foster families and are treated on an outpatient basis.
The family backgrounds of each of our children are different, but their common denominator is that all of them have suffered terrible emotional and physical traumas as a result of parental neglect or abuse. A typical example is "Ami" (not his real name). Ami's father passed away while he was a small child. His mother was unable to care for Ami because of her own poor emotional health and intellectual limitations. Ami was not only physically neglected, but his emotional well being was greatly deteriorating when the authorities intervened and decided to place him in a state mental hospital. After his release from that facility, Ami was placed in our residential treatment center.
Ari's story (also not his real name), is unfortunately even worse. Ari is an "orphan" emotionally and physically, if not technically. His mother, a narcotics addict, abandoned him at birth and her whereabouts are unknown. They have never met. Ari's father, who also suffers from drug abuse problems, both abused and neglected Ari, until the authorities removed him from the home at the age of four. Since then Ari has been placed in numerous foster homes that were unable to deal with his violent behavior. Ari hasn't seen his father since. Since his placement in our treatment center, Ari's behavior has changed to such an extent that he is able to spend a day or two each month outside the institution with a new foster family. Without our intervention, the only treatment option for Ari would be in the closed ward of a state mental hospital Reut-Orr Shalom was created to treat children like Ami and Ari who have suffered physical, sexual and emotional abuse. No other institution in Israel is willing to accept these children for treatment in a residential environment.
We accept children only after all other treatment options have either failed, or refused to accept the responsibility of treating these children in an open environment. Thanks to the tremendous dedication of our staff, we have seen short-term improvements in most of our children, and are aware of long-term changes in many of our past graduates.
Help Us Help Ami and Ari
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Shoshana
(Teenage Girls Home)
Shoshana never succeeded in any of her placements prior to Orr Shalom.
When she was referred to our teenage girls' home in Herzliya as a last
resort, no one could break through her wall of silence to communicate
with her.
Shoshana's biological mother was ordered by the court not to contact
her five children due to the horrendous proof of abuse and neglect;
the worst to suffer was Shoshana.
Initially, her Orr Shalom house parents and the other six girls in the
home could not communicate with Shoshana. She wore only black or dark
clothes, she looked odd and unkempt, and acted strangely. Orr Shalom's
professional team worked with Shoshana for hours and hours, trying to
discover if she was capable of communicating at all. Shoshana refused
to speak, in the early stages of her treatment her social worker recorded
22 hours of complete silence while they were together in the treatment
room. A psychological evaluation showed that Shoshana did have normal
communication capabilities; her house parents and professionals kept
persevering.
After many months Shoshana started to communicate with two people, her
house mother and her social worker, using her eyes to answer yes or
no.
Slowly and painfully, the story of Shoshana's tormented childhood was
told through the social worker asking questions, Shoshana answering
with a slight movement of her eyes. Shoshana's father left home when
she was a toddler, after which her mother became a prostitute, took
drugs and would abuse and neglect the children.
Shoshana took it upon herself at the age of 10 to ensure that her brothers
and sisters, who were all younger than her, would attend school. During
these hours she would search the neighborhood trash bins looking for
food. She also spent time in the playground near her house and become
friendly with a young boy, with whom she could play, away from the abuse
of her home. She began to trust him. In return, he raped her. Blocking
it out of her mind, she returned to play with her new friend. And then
he raped her again, again and again, this time joined by several of
his friends. From that day on, Shoshana stopped speaking. She entered
into a world of silence, continuing to take care of her little siblings,
yet totally incapable of verbal communication.
After months and months of professional help, of therapy and of unconditional
love, Shoshana slowly began to wear colorful clothes, stopped hiding
herself away and began participating in activities. When Shoshana started
to write little notes to these two people, in tiny letters that were
almost impossible to read, her vocabulary and intelligence began to
shine through.
Shoshana's world of silence continued for 5 long years. The day that
Shoshana handed her diary to her social worker and asked her to read
her private thoughts and let someone into her dark world, was a breakthrough
of light and joy for all of Orr Shalom.
Shoshana's hard work at school paid off. She passed several matriculation
exams and entered the army. Today she is taking a course in the Air
Force, and was chosen as the most Outstanding Student in her basic training
course.
Shoshana wants to study in a therapeutic field when she leaves the army,
and help people like herself who are sometimes irreparably harmed in
their biological homes. We wholeheartedly believe that Shoshana will
fulfill her dream and go on to help other Israeli children-at-risk.
Help Us Help Shoshana
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Shmuel
Shmuel did not have a childhood before he came to Orr Shalom. Shmuel arrived at the age of 6 and has been with us for over a year and a half. His biological parents are unable to care for him, and he comes from a background of severe neglect. Both he and his younger brother were removed from their biological home and referred to Orr Shalom's foster program.
Shmuel required the individual and special attention that our foster program offers, he was adjusting well and progressing-slowly, he was learning to trust and to understand what a home can be. Then he witnessed two terror attacks. The first occurred when he was outside the market in Jerusalem with his foster grandfather in April 2002, as they were standing opposite the stand where the bomb went off. Afterwards Shmuel entered into a very difficult period of aggression and violent outbreaks. A few months later his foster grandfather died of a heart attack. This additional shock was very hard for Shmuel. The director of the foster program and his social workers enrolled him in a movement therapy class twice a week in addition to the therapy that he was receiving regularly.
Shmuel lives in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Kiryat Menachem. In November 2002, he was about to take his ride to school with another foster child from Orr Shalom when the bus next to them blew up right in front of their eyes. Shmuel's already shattered world virtually collapsed, and he regressed even further during the next few months. His situation worsened, he was admitted to the psychiatric hospital at Eitanim on an outpatient basis; he returns to his foster home each evening. Shmuel is frightened all the time and his foster mother finds it increasingly difficult to cope with him. He spends most of his time hiding under the blankets or under his foster mother's skirt.
Shmuel has been attending Eitanim Hospital daily for several months now. He is improving very slowly, his violent outbursts are lessening, we see a moderate improvement in his behavior and he is a little less afraid, although he is still plagued with terrible nightmares. His daily ride to and from the hospital present a further hurdle for him - he is taken by car but it is hard for him to go out into the world. With Orr Shalom's unswerving guidance and support, we are hoping that Shmuel will soon be able to return to his previous schedule.
Help Us Help Shmuel
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Sara
Sara, age 8, is a newcomer to Orr Shalom's Beersheva community home.
Her sister Eti has been in one of our Beersheva homes for the past five
years. Nine months ago, after a long period of depression and minimal
functioning, their mother committed suicide. The girls' father is a
drug addict.
As soon as Orr Shalom heard of their mothers' death, the house parents
and professional staff sat shiva (the mourning period) with Eti and
Sara, helping them through this traumatic period. Afterwards, meetings
were held with the local welfare authorities concerning Sara's placement.
Orr Shalom decided that it would create a 12th place for Sara, even
though the home was already at full capacity with 11 children, in order
for her to stay with her sister.
Sara has been showing signs of depression and is finding the adjustment
to her new home very difficult, she is suffering from deep rooted feelings
of guilt. Communication with their father is very limited, only supervised
visits with him are permitted. In the meantime, we are attempting to
help Sara properly grieve for her mother.
In time, we hope that Sara will be able to become acclimated to her
new Orr Shalom surroundings, attend school, and begin to build a positive
future for herself-just like her older sister Eti.
Help Us Help Sara
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Andre
Andre turned 13 in April 2003. The first years of his young life
were marked by severe neglect.
Andre is a new immigrant to Israel who arrived from the Former Soviet
Union four years ago with his father and his grandparents. The fate
of his mother is still unclear, but his social worker believes that
she died before their arrival. Andre's father is elderly and in poor
health; one of his legs was amputated. Andre lived with his grandparents
and his father for the first two years after their arrival, but after
a family feud, his grandparents moved out and left Andre to the care
of his disabled father. Since that time he has had no further communication
with his grandparents. Although Andre and his father very much wanted
to live together, the Ministry of Social Affairs decided it
was best to remove Andre from his home. The Ministry was then persuaded
to retract its decision and left Andre under his father's care for another
year. During that time, Andre was picked up many times wandering the
streets, hungry and dirty. His father finally relented and in September
2002, Andre was placed in one of Orr Shalom's family group homes.
Today, Andre and his father see one another during specially arranged visits.
Andre is a good child, but he is not accustomed to being in any type
of structured framework. Although Andre is capable of average scholastic
achievement, his many behavioral problems hinder this. We have not yet
assessed whether these problems arise from a language deficit, lack
of experience in an educational framework, cultural transition problems or his tormented past.
He is now attending a neighborhood school, and some of his potential
has begun to emerge despite his tough exterior. However, we still receive
many phone calls that he is bullying the younger children.
Andre has not yet shed his tough guy exterior, and talks about gangs
with considerable pride. Andre has smoked since he was 6 years old,
and is still extremely addicted to a pack of cigarettes a day. On his
arrival at Orr Shalom, he was forbidden to smoke; however, it proved
necessary to take a slower approach to rid him of this addiction.
Andre was very anxious to have a Bar Mitzvah celebration party like
all his classmates, in a rented hall with a caterer. And so we at Orr
Shalom made every effort not to disappoint him. Initially we felt quite
sad, because he had only 5 family members and friends to invite. But
then fate stepped in - in the form of 36 participants of the Canada
Israel Experience-Volunteers for Israel Program. These young people
felt the need to engage in actual hands-on volunteer work, and were
either working in the Orr Shalom gardens or painting. Andre decided
to invite all of them to his Bar Mitzvah, and they reported that this
celebration was one of the most significant experiences of their stay
in Israel.
Andre was thrilled. He felt surrounded with love and family. The volunteers
bought him a football and special gear after learning what an ardent
fan he is. The celebration turned out to be the happiest, most memorable
day of Andre's young life.
Help Us Help Andre
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
Dana
Dana tells her story:
My name is Dana, and I was only 13 when I came to Orr Shalom. Like most
kids who are put into care, I didn't want to go. At first I hated everyone
and everything. My father couldn't look after me and my mother was a
prostitute. I spent most of my days on the streets, and I would get
candy from passersby. If I was hungry I would rummage through garbage
bins or steal food from the grocery store-one time they caught me, but
nothing happened and I thought I was lucky. My parents didn't know what
I was doing; they thought I was in school.
Eventually I started to hang around with a crowd in Beersheva, kids
who didn't go to school and didn't mind if I joined in their fun. We
were chased by the police a few times and eventually I ended up in care.
I hated it all until I came here. Here it is different. Here they tried
to help me to adjust from the beginning. I was just a kid, what did
I know.
Today, I'm 16, and am studying for my matriculations. I have nice friends
who care about me and don't abuse me, and I have fun in my home with
Orr Shalom. The other kids in the home are my family. I visit my parents
but don't feel so low anymore. It's fun to be a kid and do all the things
kids do at the right time. I want to stay here. It's fun. Life can be
good.
Help Us Help Dana
Back to Orr Shalom Programs
|Israeli
Children-at Risk|Orr Shalom Programs|Our
Kids Stories|
|Help us Help|Forums|Orr
Shalom Events|News Updates|Contact
Us|Home|Hebrew|
